Let's talk about this...

I think being in rural Africa, namely western Kenya, confuses me about God's universal truths. Culture, values and actions of this specific tribe within which I live have me wondering if I really know anything about God's standards for life, marriage and direction? They seem pretty straightforward to me in my culture and context, but bring me into one here (in a community that is equally committed to Christ, but extremely opposite in our beliefs about marriage, sex and gender) and I get confused.

As our group was sitting together discussing the various reasons why the Luo are so heavily hit by HIV, a member of our group has been quick and wise to point out the question of conversation about sex. Wife inheritance, polygamy, unfaithful husbands, no access to or acceptance of condoms, and refusal to circumcise have all contributed to this spread of HIV. But who are we, I often wonder, to speak into the change of someone's culture or traditions? To judge the morality of practices? There are women who are HIV positive simply as a result of being a good citizen or member of their society. "What did I do wrong?" is a fair question because there is nothing that merits judgement within the boundaries of her culture.

I know we have just as many ills in our own culture, so it's not a pointed judgement or concern. We think that polygamy is wrong. But when I talked to the ladies here and told them about how Americans date each other, one after another until they find the right match, they commented, "Ah, so Americans practice serial polygamy!" Touche. The truth is, however, if sexuality were addressed and practices were altered, then the spread of AIDS would dramatically slow down...everywhere in the world, not just Africa. I was frustrated by my colleague's remarks and questions about sexuality because I, too, am hesitant to address issues of sexuality. And I'm slow to judge most anything - even to the point of being wishy washy on truths. And if this were the main need of focus, it would be the hardest issue we could ever attempt to tackle. It feels like a mountain of impossibility.

It was shocking to hear Joel say that 90 percent of people in this village will die of AIDS (that's with a current prevalence rate of about 30%). That is shocking. And heart-breaking. Because this is my family. These are my friends. What questions do we need to be asking ourselves, and asking one another? It's not an issue of whether or not we're going to "teach abstinence." That's not our job as outsiders who haven't been able to transform our own culture in that area, and we'd be horrible at it. But perhaps we need to delve more personally, more holistically into our own understanding of sexuality and bring our African friends into that conversation. I bet we could learn a lot from one another.